Monday, 26 August 2013

Day Of Karen

Saturday was a Day Of Karen. What does a Day Of Karen involve, I hear you ask. As little or as much as I want it to. This is a day where I switch off my phone and see as few people as humanly possible. Anti-social much? Yes, absolutely. You know how some people complain about being lonely? I used to be one of those people. Now I'm the sort of person who'll make excuses to get out of social obligations so that I can spend the day in my jimmy jams doing whatever the hell I want. Hello, dear Karen, have you brushed your hair today? Why no, random person, this is a Day of Karen and you are interrupting me so BUGGER OFF! 

Obviously I have inspired you so much that you wish to have a Day Of <Insert Name Here> of your very own. Yes? Yes! So I have taken time out of my busy schedule to compile a list of absolute essentials that are needed on such a heavenly day:

1) An empty flat. This is something on which there cannot be any compromise. No matter how well you get along with your flatmate/Mom/significant other, the last thing you need on a Day Of Karen is judgy eyes getting all judgy-judgison on your ass. On that point, maybe kick out your cat for the day too - you know how those guys love to stare...

2) Copious amounts of series/movies/porn. Ok, no porn for me, but you get my gist. The moment that you become BORED is the moment that you know that your Day Of Karen is FAILING. This is the day that you get to watch back-to-back episodes of, well, ANYTHING! Your boyfriend thinks Gossip Girl is lame? Time to indulge in all 6 seasons. Your flatmate hates any movie with Will Smith in it (get another flatmate - Will is a champ)? Line up Hitch, Independence Day, and all three Men In Blacks for your viewing pleasure. In terms of the porn, I'll leave that up to you... 

3) Usually "forbidden" snacks and bevvies. Why did Eve eat the forbidden fruit? Because it was the one thing DENIED to her. Never deny yourself on day Of Karen. My guilty pleasure is Coke. No, not the white, powdered variety but good 'ol fashioned crammed full of sugar and bubbles Cokie-Cola, which is possibly just as bad. Did I drink water all day on Saturday? HELL NO BUDDIO! Bottom line: indulge. This is YOUR day.

4) Comfy clothes and NO BRAS. I spend my week dressing up, doing my hair, applying my makeup, and donning uncomfortable push-up bras. There are no bras on Day Of Karen. There are elasticated pants, slippers and over-sized jerseys. There is comfort and joy that only comes from a day devoid of underwire. I went to the shops on Day Of Karen. I wore a hoodie to hide the fact that I was not wearing a bra. Verdict? NAILED IT!

Ho ho! I hear you exclaim. Ho hum! You're telling porky pies Karen - I saw you at the gym on your so-called precious Day Of Karen. Uh, yeah, it's called Day Of KAREN for a reason dummy - KAREN makes the rules. If I want to go to the gym, I shall go to the gym. If I want to run around my neighbourhood naked wearing nothing but a Santa hat, then that's exactly what I'll do. It's MY day. And to my accuser, who are you anyway? I don't like you. You're forbidden from having a Day Of Karen. Ever.

And so, dear readers, that's all there is to it. We're all busy people. We have busy lives full of friends, family, lovers, colleagues and other people who we devote our every waking minute to. We need - nay - we DESERVE a day all to ourselves. A day to toss our bras and do whatever the hell we want.     

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

It's not often that I find a site that manages to keep me entertained for longer than 6 minutes (yes, it's that specific), but thanks to stumbleupon I have discovered the best (and most random) site in the history of the world! Please, allow me to share with you, - a completely bizarre website with even more bizarre comics. A sample from my favourite series,The Bobcats:

Gotta love kitty humour :)

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Follow me on bloglovin'

Hello team! In a tech-savvy attempt to widen my followers circle and find some awesome new blogs to follow, I have joined bloglovin' - a pretty cool platform that brings all blogs together in one super, happy, blogger family :) I've added a widget (yes, using technical terms here!) to my blog, so please follow me if you're keen. And just ignore the gobble-de-gook (some people call it code???) below: apparently I need it for something or other! Happy Wednesday everyone .x.

<a href="">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Some people really do rock

It's been a weird past couple of days. What with restless evenings, terrible nightmares and feeling overly sensitive about everything, I've been struggling to adopt a positive attitude. But then this morning I was reminded that although there are some pretty sucky people out there, there are also some pretty awesome ones, too. Due to the fact that I live in Cape Town, I am constantly struggling to find parking - seriously Helen, you need to get on that - and since I am new to my office, I do not have my own parking space (sad face). But for the past two weeks, I have had the luxury of parking in one of my incredibly lucky co-workers' spots (she's lucky because she was away in Rio for 2 weeks, not because I stole her parking!) and I was starting to forget the stress and pain that I normally go through searching for a that-looks-relatively-legal place to park. 

After a very disrupted night - at one point I was certain that there was a goat in my flat - I woke up late and rushed to work... only to remember that I no longer had a lovely little rectangular oasis all to myself. And so I began the incredibly frustrating parking search, avoiding the spaces where I'd be charged a bundle by orange-vested meter people and steering clear of yellow lines for fear of the dreaded pink parking ticket. On my third lap past a business in the general vicinity, an impeccably-dressed man stepped up to my car and asked if he could help me. Assuming that he thought that I was a customer, I quickly thanked him, explaining that I was just trying to find a place to park. He looked at me for a moment and then, obviously detecting my desperation, told me that I could use a space reserved for the business.

I know that this sounds ridiculous, but that one sentence filled my heart with joy. Not only did I now have a safe place to park (and wouldn't be late for work), but here was this complete stranger putting his position on the line for me for no reason whatsoever. He didn't have to help me, but he did. And in doing so, this good samaritan has unknowingly helped restore my faith in humanity. If this weird funk of mine continues, I'm going to try and remember this morning and how life (and people in it) can really be pretty damn sweet.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Guil-tea as charged

I had a very interesting moment today that made me stop and think. In my office, one of the duties of our interns is to make everybody tea or coffee. I know, it sounds like cheap labour, but it's actually a really nice way to help integrate them into the environment and get to know everybody - even if it's just by their beverage order. Everybody says please and thank you and thinks nothing of asking for a cup of joe every now and then. Up until now, every intern that has come through our doors has been female.

We now have a new intern who happens to be a man. Ok, that sounded really ominous but you'll see where I'm going with this. Anyway, today I was really jonesing for a good 'ol cuppa - I had a headache and a backache and was generally feeling very sad and sorry for myself. Since tea makes everything better (I come from a British family), I turned to ask our new intern to make me some, when I stopped and thought 'No, I can't ask him to do that'. Now I'd like to think that I thought that because he's new and doesn't know the ropes, or because he's a design intern as opposed to an editorial intern (they generally are our glorious tea-bearers) and perhaps had not been told about the tea rule, but alas, that would be a lie. I felt uncomfortable asking him to make me a cup of tea because he is a man.

Shocking right? I almost smacked myself in the head when I realised! Why is it that I find it more acceptable for a woman to run around after me than for a man to do the same thing? There should be absolutely no difference! And yet, here I sit, with a cup of tea that I just made because I am too embarrassed to admit to myself that I mentally discriminate between men and women. I like to think that I am pretty open-minded about most things, but this just goes to show how certain notions of sex, gender and duty are engrained in our psyches. We all do it. If someone talks about their doctor, nine out of 10 people will assume that said doctor is male. Just like a teacher is automatically female - these are stereotypes that we unwittingly follow and enforce.

But never fear, there is hope for us yet. The fact that I stopped and realised that my thought pattern was wrong is a huge step up from merely accepting the idiocy that ran through my head. Take some time and stop and think about certain ideas that you take for granted. You'll be surprised at how sexist we really are, without even meaning to be so.