Saturday, 23 February 2013

The Thin Yellow Line

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel as though you have spent the entire day in your car? That was me yesterday! And it always seems to be that whenever you need to get somewhere on time, there is crazy traffic and no parking... hang on, I live in Cape Town – there is NEVER any parking! After a manic morning of appointments and negotiating taxis/cars/pedestrians/pigeons, I return to the office and, after circling the block a few times, finally find a gap between a huge 4x4 and a yellow line. So there I am, minding my own business, slowly reversing so as to ensure that I am definitely NOT on the yellow line – I refuse to get a parking ticket, especially at the end of the month – when all of a sudden I look in my rear-view mirror and find myself slamming on brakes!

A car guard, who was nowhere to be seen when I began parking, had leapt (and I mean leapt) behind my car and was holding out his hands and waving them crazily. I don’t know whether it’s his latest party-trick to crouch on the floor and then jump up at the last second to scare the living daylights out of his customers, but it really worked and I found myself saying out-loud, “Woah buddy, what the eff!?” I honestly thought that I had hit him the way he was carrying on, and a law-suit would cost a hell of a lot more than a parking ticket.

When my heart and finally slowed to its normal rate and I realised that I was not going to have to call my lawyer sister to defend me in court, I carried on reversing into my parking – yes, after all of this, I STILL hadn’t parked! And I know that he was trying to help, but I find it incredibly distracting when you have a yellow/orange vested man waving his arms manically behind you using gestures that could mean a whole range of things when you are attempting to avoid hitting the bumper of a 4x4. When I had eventually parked and got out of my car, I turned to my new ‘parking-coordinator’ and said, “You really shouldn’t jump behind people’s cars while they’re trying to park!” To which he responded, “I thought you were going to park on the yellow line.”

At least the poor chap had my best interests at heart, even if it did mean giving me heart-failure in the process. All of this drama because of one thin yellow line.

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