Saturday, 23 June 2012

Pack Attack

It is finally the June/July holidays and, as of Monday, I will officially be home and relaxing in good old East London.   Unfortunately, before I reach that oasis, there is one crucial task that has to be done which I am dreading.   Yes indeed, I have to pack.   Now please, before you start thinking that this is just me being melodramatic and stop reading this post, just listen to my reasoning behind my hatred for this four-lettered word.

When a normal human being goes away for a two-week period, he or she probably packs only what is necessary and leaves the rest to chance.   Not me.   There is an entire mental checklist that has to be followed before I even begin to place things into the suitcase (and I only have one, which is going to add to my dilemma).   For most trips, my thought process normally goes something like this:

It’s going to be cold, so I have to pack at least 5 pairs of bottoms – one for each day of the week.   So that’s two pairs of jeans, a pair of trousers, and two pairs of leggings.   But the one pair of jeans that I packed is quite formal so I’d better put in another pair for day-to-day wear.   And whilst I have two pairs of leggings, what if I decide to wear a dress that leggings won’t go with?   I’d better put in three pairs of stockings ... no, make that four in case one gets a ladder in it.   So that’s 3 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of trousers, 2 pairs of leggings, and 4 pairs of stockings.  But then, I’m also going to be going to gym while I’m home, so I’d better add another pair of exercise leggings ... and some shorts in case I go for a run.   Right, so that’s 3 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of trousers, 3 pairs of leggings, 4 pairs of stockings, and 1 pair of shorts.

OK, so that’s bottoms down, now onto the tops.   Obviously I need to pack at least 5 tank tops to wear under jerseys, plus 3 extra tops to exercise in.   Then I need 5 jerseys, plus 4 long-sleeved tops to wear under them in case it gets really cold.   And since I’m packing long-sleeved tops, I may as well put in 3 more short-sleeved jerseys that I can wear the long tops under.   So that totals up to 8 tank tops, 5 long-sleeved jerseys, 4 long-sleeved tops, and 3 short-sleeved jerseys.

Now dresses: I think I’ll need 3 winter dresses that can be worn during the day.   But then, I’ll put in 2 other dresses that can be worn in the evening.   But it’ll probably be too cold to wear just that so add an extra jacket and cardigan to go with those dresses.   And of course I’ll need scarves, and what’s the point in packing just one when I have so many pretty ones to choose from?   So let’s just put in 4 scarves to be safe.   Now if I’m thinking about evening, I need to consider shoes.   I’ll obviously be wearing one pair of boots and pack another pair for the day, but what about heels?   If I pack that dress to go out in, I’ll need my black heels, but the grey one’s would look so much better with leggings and a jacket.   And remember that the one pair of jeans has to be worn with a certain pair of shoes, so I have to remember those.   And if I’m taking both grey and black pairs, then I’ll need different handbags to match.   Plus a bag to match the boots I’m wearing on the plane.   So let’s see if I’ve got this right: that makes it 5 dresses, 1 jacket, 1 cardigan, 4 scarves, 4 pairs of shoes, and 3 handbags.   Oh, and a pair of takkies to exercise in ... so make that 5 pairs of shoes.

This is before I’ve even got onto the toiletries, make-up, jewellery, hair accessories, underwear, and pyjamas, and already I’ve got enough packed to clothe the whole of East London put together (very well I might add!).   Not to mention the agony of trying to decide exactly which dress will go with what jersey, as well as attempting to accommodate for all possible occasions and weather conditions.   This is why, my dear readers, I hate packing above all other things.   So much so, that I have spent most of the day putting it off by doing laundry, washing dishes, and partaking in other such mundane tasks.   And now, I am going to take a nap - thinking about what I'm going to pack sure is exhausting!

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Here Piggy Piggy Piggy!

Hungry?   Tired of always eating the same old boring thing every day?   Well fret no more!   The American fast-food chain Burger King has an answer to your prayers!   How, you ask?   Well, Burger King has just launched its new and exciting BACON SUNDAE as part of the restaurant’s summer menu!   Yes, you read correctly: BACON (as in pork); SUNDAE (as in ice-cream).   This “meaty treat” includes 18g of fat and 61g of sugar, and weighs in at a whopping 510calories in total.   The sundae started in Nashville Tennesee earlier this year, and was launched nation-wide a few days ago.

So what exactly does your $2.49 get you (apart from an early death by heart-attack)?   Well, this snack consists of vanilla soft-serve ice-cream drizzled with fudge, caramel, bacon bits, and a chunk of thick-cut bacon wedged in like a wafer biscuit.   The sundae has been introduced as part of Burger King’s recent strategy to attract new customers to its restaurants.   As the world’s second biggest hamburger chain, Burger King is aiming much of its new menu at mothers and their children in an attempt to boost their ratings.  So to all you clueless mothers out there, you’re in luck!   This meal combines both meat and dairy and must therefore be an oh-so-nutrious snack for your kiddy-winks, right?    

It’s no surprise that the obesity rates in the United States are among the highest in the world.   With more than one-third of U.S. adults being obese, it seems as though there is little hope for their offspring.   Poor little porkers.        

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Snow White Was Dead Good

In this age of digital technology and laptops, I find that I rarely (if ever) go to the cinema anymore.   This is mainly because I am a cheap-skate and refuse to pay R60 for a movie that I can watch for free, and R30 for popcorn that I can make myself.   Having said that, even I have to admit that a computer screen is a poor substitute for the real thing, and sometimes there is nothing better than a night out at the movies.   Thanks to NuMetro’s Monday to Friday half-price special for all Clicks ClubCard holders, my friends and I decided to take full advantage and last night we braved the cold to go and watch Snow White and the Huntsman.

I was actually incredibly impressed with the movie as a whole, and thought that Charlize Theron really proved that South Africans sure do know how to act.   The same cannot be said, however, for her less-than-lovely female co-star.   Now it must be said that I had my reservations about watching a movie where Kristen Stewart played the title role, but I decided to put my Twilight-bias behind me and give her the benefit of the doubt.   This was a mistake.
I just don’t understand why people think that she is a good actress.   Wooden acting style aside, she has the same facial expression in every scene and I wonder how many flies flew into her constantly open mouth during filming.   Her best scene was when she died – something that suits her lifeless acting to a tee.   The only saving grace for the Snow White character as a whole was the fact that Kristen didn’t speak a great deal during the movie; although potential viewers be warned that there is an over-the-top speech near the end that you will have to endure.            

So when people ask me what I thought of the movie, I respond that I really enjoyed it ... except for Kristen Stewart.   Not a great review considering that she is, in fact, Snow White.   Thank goodness for her amazing cast-members, the great storyline, and the oh-so-incredible special effects, which combined to make Snow White and the Huntsman a wonderful movie that I will definitely watch again.   As for Kristen, I think that she should stick to acting alongside vampires and leave the more complex roles for someone with a little more ... um ... life.