Thursday, 3 November 2016

What the feet?

Following on from my last post, I am still struggling along the Tinder trail, swatting pests left all the way! I expected there to be some weirdos out there, but my latest encounter takes the cake. I started chatting to this guy and from the first moment, he was telling me how gorgeous I am. This always makes me suspicious, as in my experience, many men tend to think that if you tell a woman she is beautiful, she will immediately fall into bed with you. Maybe when I was 21, but not now buddio! Anyway, I hesitantly continue talking to him, and his sexual intentions become clearer and clearer with every message. Then, he asks me if I have pretty feet. Yes, feet. Now, I don't know about you, but I think that feet are really weird, especially when you start examining how your toes are joined to your foot, which always conjures up images of square stubs from Roald Dahl's The Witches, but I digress. He then sends me a message asking for a picture. Of. My. Feet. To which I reply, no, I am wearing shoes and sure as hell am not going to send you a picture of my feet! Creepy right? But his answer was the kicker: 

"No feet, no meet." 

I kid you not. He has a catchphrase. And a foot fetish. Tinder 1 ; Karen 0

Monday, 17 October 2016

A dream is a wish your heart makes

After much resistance, I have finally joined Tinder. Actually, I joined Tinder two months ago, but deleted it as it wasn't really working for me. But then, in a wave of "How am ever I going to meet someone?!", I joined up again on Wednesday and had my first Tinder date on Thursday. 

There was nothing wrong with the guy. He was tall, athletic, Scottish (bonus points for a cool accent) and laidback. We chatted, without any awkward silences, and shared a bottle of wine, which he paid for (another plus). He was clearly into me and did all the flirtatious things, like comparing hand sizes, picking me up (literally... tall men always do this) and resting his hand on my arm whenever possible - but sadly, I just didn't feel any sparks. It was almost like catching up with an old friend - and not even a really good friend at that.

When I heard from him this weekend and he offered to cook for me this week, I let him down gently. But then I felt awful. Maybe I'm just being too fussy? Should I give it another try? I ummed and aahed for a while, but then decided that I'm not ready to give up on the dream just yet. I don't want to settle for someone just because he's into me. And my time is too precious to waste to lead someone on. I want to be enchanted. So this Tinderella will keep on swiping until she finds her Prince Charming – or deletes Tinder entirely. Either or.

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Say what?

I try not to correct people when they say something wrong. We're human and we all get phrases muddled every now and then, especially when we're speed-talking, eager to get to the point or are clouded by emotions. But even though I don't correct them, I do notice. I notice when I say something wrong and wish I could go back and edit, as I would when I'm writing. And there are some mistakes that irk me more than others. For example: each other versus one another. (Each other = two people. One another = more than two people.) So whenever I sit in a wedding ceremony and the priest says "Do you promise to love one another..." I'm muttering "each other" under my breath. 

There are also those phrases that are misused so often that people think that their version is correct. When I was a child, I used to think that the phrase was "in the walls" instead of "in the wars". (My logic: I ran into walls a lot.) This is called an eggcorn - who knew? Here's a list of some of the phrases you may have been saying wrong. You're welcome!

"For all intensive purposes"
- Should be: For all intents and purposes
(ie: In every practical sense.)

"What's potting"
- Should be: What's plotting
(ie: What's going on.)

"Nip it in the butt"
- Should be: Nip it in the bud
(ie: Putting an end to something before it can grow.)

"First come, first serve"
- Should be: First come, first served
(The incorrect version implies that the first person who arrives will have to serve everyone else)

"The splitting image"
- Should be: The spitting image
(This comes from the Bible, when God used spit and mud to make Adam of his own image.)

"My makeup regime"
- Should be: My makeup regimen
(Regime refers to an authoritarian government.)

"It's a doggy-dog world"
- Should be: It's a dog-eat-dog world
(ie: If you don't look after yourself, you'll get taken out.)

Thursday, 11 August 2016

Healthy = happy

On Tuesday, I celebrated Women’s Day by attending my first ever HIIT workout boot camp class, run by the beautiful Herbalife ladies. I arrived thinking that I was relatively fit, forgetting about the fact that I had been bed-bound for a fortnight thanks to gum surgery earlier this month.  So needless to say, I battled.  Not just physically, but mentally, as I felt as though I was back to square one – and was incredibly unmotivated as a result.

When I got to work yesterday, a colleague noticed my wincing (damn those squats!) and asked what was wrong. I told her about the boot camp, how great it was, but how I really struggled and was feeling a bit down. She looked at me and said, “But you’re skinny, so it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to exercise.” It's not the first time I've heard this sort of statement. When I made a commitment to start on this healthy journey and change my lifestyle and diet, it wasn't to lose weight, but naturally I did - and everyone was on my case about it. "You don't need to lose weight!" "It's because of your break-up, isn't it?" "Are you starving yourself?" These sorts of responses make me think about how misguided many people are about what it means to be healthy and happy. 

Skinny does not equal healthy. Dieting does not equal healthy. Exercising every hour of the day does not equal healthy. It's all about balance, embracing a healthy lifestyle, and doing it for the right reasons. For me, exercising and eating well helps my mental health. It gives me confidence, helps me deal with my depression and makes me feel like I'm in control of my life. I love being part of a community of encouraging, like-minded individuals who motivate me to try harder - even on the days when I want to quit. I like feeling proud of what my body can do, and knowing that I could run that race if I really put my mind to it. I am grateful for the opportunity to be outdoors, and enjoy the beauty that nature has to offer.

I am by no means a fitness fanatic. I don't exercise as much as I should, I lack motivation, I eat carbs and love chocolate. I struggle on most days to get myself up and out of the house. But when I do, it is glorious. And I'm trying. It's not just about being skinny. It's about living a life I am proud of. Tonight is my second boot camp class, and I am certain it will tough. But I can do it. And knowing that is the most empowering feeling of all.

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Door adornments I adore

I love decorative vintage door handles/knobs/knockers. They are unique, quirky and give any front door so much character. Obviously we don't have a use for door knockers any more, as we generally have to announce ourselves via phone/intercom/doorbell before we even make it to the front door, but I still think that I would love to have one. The only downside: they originated in Ancient Greece and were used to chain slaves to the front door of their wealthy owners, so that's not a great history to have. But on a happier note, many of the ornate details on knockers and handles - especially animals - were considered good luck, and the Hamsa hand in particular was believed to protect those who lived within the house and would prevent evil from entering. And since my grandfather was a freemason, I absolutely love the masonic door knocker, complete with the iconic compass and square. So there's a bit of history for you, and here are some of my favourites door adornments.

Friday, 8 July 2016

Cat Photo Friday

One of the (many) things I love about cats is their ability to look comfortable no matter what. While I was growing up, my cat Smokey used to pass out on the dining room table - with a toothpick holder poking into him! I think what we can learn from these funny felines is to be content with our lot. I am guilty of often focusing on what's going wrong in my life instead of what's going right, and at times like these I need to remember Smokey. He may have had a few thorns in his side, but on the whole, he was comfortable, fed, happy and surrounded by the people he loved - and those are the things that really matter.

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Some salty trivia

Today I was in my office kitchen, zoning out as I waited for our ancient microwave to heat up my lunch, and I found myself staring at the logo on a bottle of Cerebos salt. I've never really looked at it properly, and always just assumed it was a little boy feeding a chicken, but upon closer inspection, I saw that he is actually trying to pour what I thought was grain onto the bird. Utterly perplexed, I turned to trusty Google and lo and behold, it turns out that there is a folklore that you can catch a bird by pouring salt on its tail. Wile E Coyote even tried this trick in one of his many attempts to catch Road Runner, but to no avail. Some say that it startles the bird and gives you time to catch it, while others believe that the salt gets into the feathers and prevents the bird from flying. Then there is the more pragmatic theory that if you're close enough to pour salt on a bird's tail, you must be close enough to catch it. My guess? It was a great way to get kids out of your hair. I need to remember this for my future nieces and nephews!